I’ve been technically secondary celibate for like, six months now. Since the last few months to wifey giving birth and after. Then after, forming 2/3 of the entire period.
First attempt (to have sex with her) received a comment that she could not take seed before long again. Moreover, of course, I had confirmed what her mum suspected, that it would not be long before I came requesting for such (sex). In her condition, I had to go get a condom.
My problem: I’ve never asked of the price of a condom before and never intend to; my sole reason for keeping myself till marriage. I simply mind what the person at the counter will think of me when I present myself to place an order for condoms. (Of course, this resolve I have kept with myself and hence, decided to refrain from the shop)
My second attempt, which is very much recent: After all the foreplay, sorting her out, the most part as I know she loves, and just when “man” was ready for his turn, she complained about sudden piercing pain. My “mojo” vanished suddenly. She was extremely apologetic, but well, a man had to be a man to reassure her that, it was well
As it stands now, I don’t think I will keep on pushing. I am never sure I can demand sex. My spouse is my co-equal as far as I’m concerned. I wouldn’t want anything intimate resulting from her reluctance. If she doesn’t want it, that’s better for me than she giving in to my demands and only faking or something else. That also can kill my mojo if I sense that at the least attempt.
The problem is that, now, I think I will admit, I may be getting sex-starved, and I wish my counsellors had added this bit to the conversation, so I psyched up appropriately. Because, lately, my dreams get invaded by the obvious, as I’m forced to jump out of bed before I succumb to any form of wet dreams. My line of work brings a lot of “Juicy” feminine homosapiens my direction, which for over seven years, I have succeeded to not yielding. Even when I have been pursued by some, I have always resisted.
Dave, I will admit again, I feel too vulnerable in the past couple of weeks. It’s like being naked. What my eyes refused to see in the past is all becoming bright and pleasing. I do not like these kinds of changes I am beginning to feel. I am still keeping myself as busy as possible to not give room for any temptation. I am just afraid of the level of my vulnerability now.
It’s like reaching one’s tipping point. I am not justifying any future actions and consequences as I do not hope to get to that point. But that is my reality. Still hanging on to my faith till whenever my spouse will come around.
That’s my predicament.”
