Dave, hope you are well.
I would be grateful if you can help me with this situation I’m in. I’ve known this lady for several years but we started dating 2018.
It has been a good and awesome relationship so far, despite some odds that are against us. She has a very profitable job whereas I on the other hand don’t. I even lost my job recently thanks to Covid-19.
However I’m a very hardworking person, putting my skills (graphic designing and web development) to use. I really want to settle down with her. I’m trying hard to put resources together to do that. It’s a challenge, considering the fact that resources that come in are quite meagre. I’m however not relenting and seeking every opportunity that I can.
Recently, we had an issue and it’s somehow becoming a big thing.
We’ve been quite sexually intimate since we started the relationship; but not so intense though. My lady recently questioned why I’m on and off with being sexually intimate with her. For some reason, I connected it with my spiritual growth and development because, I’m actually involved with church stuff. I teach small services sometimes and I’m actively involved in prayer ministry. I have a call to ministry which I’m pursuing.
My woman knows this.
So for me connecting our lack of sexual intimacy to spiritual strengthening, she decides she is not going to distract me in my spiritual journey, a decision she sort of imposed. We didn’t have a conclusion on the matter. Since then, she has withdrawn emotionally and barely talks with me. She tells me a woman has needs so she needs satisfying. She won’t even hug me, stating all those can lead to sexual intimacy.
I can’t tell where her mind is in the relationship right now. She is sort of wanting me to feel her pain of being denied sexual satisfaction. We barely have laughs anymore. When we talk on the phone, it’s brief and straight like two strangers. I’m amazed how we could go from 100 to 0 in just a blink of an eye. I understand her sexual needs and I’m in no way downplaying it but I feel we can have a good compromise where we all are good and not feel some hateful emotion for each other.