Dear Dave: She’s my show

Valentina N.A.D. Okang

People think I am a great man, successful but behind this greatness is my encouraging wife.

Dave, we all go through problems and challenges but the weight is never the same when a young wife who loves you has watched you go through hell and endure the sight of you experiencing pain and sorrow. I was involved in a car accident two weeks after our wedding day. I couldn’t walk for 14 years. We couldn’t have children too.

Actually, we couldn’t have sex at all for 14 years. My wife saw me struggling to cope with the situation. I tried to push her into the arms of all the men I was assuming could be going at her outside home. I lost my composure and love for her because I couldn’t understand what was going on. In 2017, I felt this tingling in my legs.

Things started changing little by little for me till I got back on my feet in 2018. We have a one-and-a-half year old baby boy. My wife was faced with a storm in her marriage and life. I was the storm and when faced with these, usually most of us find it difficult to make the right decisions.

My wife remembered all this and made a choice. She could have walked away, cheated or treated me with disdain. I don’t know what I would have done, but I would have kept a secret relationship to keep me alive. My wife did not. She remained faithful and is still faithful to me.

That’s how I found my voice again. She filled the emptiness in my heart with love and respect and compassion and sweet talks. Everyday – in all of the 14 years of no-show.

She was my show. She was strong for me when I was weak. She‘s my voice and inspiration to honor her for the rest of my life.

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