Dear Dave: Too much power, too much control

Valentina N.A.D. Okang

Dear David

We met at the market Saturday morning. How are you doing sir? I was about to send you a message and I realized you had already posted about our encounter.

It was really nice meeting you personally and though I could see you were very busy shopping with your friend, I was glad you made time for me.

You told me to stop giving a man so much power over me even without telling you I was unhappy in my marriage. Maybe I am enabling him to be treating me this way because I love him so much and I have made him my everything. He knows I want him so much and the marriage I fear he is preying on that love to take me for granted.

Dave, I do everything and more for my family. We both work as a couple and parents. But I come home everyday to keep the home running too. He doesn’t help me so much at home; he loves his phone and being out with whomever more than staying with his wife and children.

He thinks he has a right to be a man and I have no right to cheat or entertain another man. I don’t know how it happened but I have given my husband too much control over my own happiness.

He talks to me anyhow and doesn’t respect me most of the time. I am left to do so much work in the house and still report to work for my bosses on weekdays. He always wants sex, Dave; I would not have a problem with it if he was not sleeping with this other lady.

How can I submit to such a liar and cheat? I don’t trust my husband anymore but because my mother and counsellors told me to do everything in my power to make my marriage work, I have kept quiet on a lot of issues. I am not happy Mr. David and I am tired of serving a man who treats me anyhow.

I wanted to tell you my story but you were with someone so I couldn’t say anything. Teach me how not to give my husband too much power over me.

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