I had a son before marriage, but I allowed his father to keep him when I moved from Accra to Cape Coast after getting married. I wasn’t sure how things would work out, and I was working full-time. His father has been raising him in the Volta Region from age six until now at thirteen. His father is the headmaster of the basic school he attends, and I am also a professional teacher in a basic school in Cape Coast.
My main concern is that I want my son to come and stay with me. I feel I can monitor his studies better now that he is in JHS 2. It will also help him bond with his younger siblings, grow closer to them, and learn to share responsibilities at home.
My worries are many. I don’t know how to get my husband to accept him fully without the usual tensions that come with step-parenting. I’m also worried about the language difference because schools here use Fante, while he has been learning Ewe in Volta. I fear his father might stop supporting him financially if he moves to me, assuming that since I work, I can handle everything. That would put extra pressure on me. There’s also the problem of his father’s girlfriend, who often complains about the children, especially my son. Anytime I call, my son is rarely at home, and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s difficult or because she can’t handle him. I’m afraid he may fall into bad company, and he has told me himself that he wants to come and live with me.
Right now, I’m torn between letting him stay with his father until he completes basic school and then encouraging him to choose Cape Coast for SHS so he can move to me, or bringing him now and dealing with the language issues as they come.
Please help me figure out the best option. I’m really confused.
I had a son before marriage, but I allowed his father to keep him when I moved from Accra to Cape Coast after getting married. I wasn’t sure how things would work out, and I was working full-time. His father has been raising him in the Volta Region from age six until now at thirteen. His father is the headmaster of the basic school he attends, and I am also a professional teacher in a basic school in Cape Coast.
My main concern is that I want my son to come and stay with me. I feel I can monitor his studies better now that he is in JHS 2. It will also help him bond with his younger siblings, grow closer to them, and learn to share responsibilities at home.
My worries are many. I don’t know how to get my husband to accept him fully without the usual tensions that come with step-parenting. I’m also worried about the language difference because schools here use Fante, while he has been learning Ewe in Volta. I fear his father might stop supporting him financially if he moves to me, assuming that since I work, I can handle everything. That would put extra pressure on me. There’s also the problem of his father’s girlfriend, who often complains about the children, especially my son. Anytime I call, my son is rarely at home, and I’m not sure if it’s because he’s difficult or because she can’t handle him. I’m afraid he may fall into bad company, and he has told me himself that he wants to come and live with me.
Right now, I’m torn between letting him stay with his father until he completes basic school and then encouraging him to choose Cape Coast for SHS so he can move to me, or bringing him now and dealing with the language issues as they come.
Please help me figure out the best option. I’m really confused.
