I visited the man I’m dating last weekend, and what I saw made me reconsider the relationship. We’ve only been together for five weeks, and this was my first visit to his place.
The room had a strong smell. As soon as we walked in, it felt like stepping into a public toilet. The place was dirty. There were clothes scattered across the hall, leftover kenkey with flies hovering over it, other rubbish, and a bowl of dirty water. He said he’d had a busy week and couldn’t clean up, so everything he’d eaten all week was still there.
I tried to help him tidy up, but the clothes were overwhelming. I asked why he had so many, and he said he rarely washed. Instead, he buys a new shirt every day. He’s a doctor and works extra shifts, so he feels spending fifty cedis a day on shirts isn’t a problem.
The bedroom was even worse. His bedsheet had lost its colour, and papers and random items were everywhere. The washroom was worse than a public toilet, with faeces on the walls, in the WC, and dirty water around.
I couldn’t handle it. I left after seeing the bedroom and washroom. It was too much, and he seemed too indifferent about it. I like him, but I felt being with him would be stressful, especially in marriage.
He keeps asking me to continue the relationship and promises to change, but I don’t believe he will. What made it worse was when he said his mother doesn’t mind his lifestyle and that she comes over to tidy up for him, so he doesn’t understand why I can’t do the same “as a woman.”
Bro Kay, someone like this won’t change, and he’ll keep comparing me to his mother. That’s why I ended things.
Please, do I sound like I’m overreacting, or is this normal?
