I am currently dating a man who is married. I didn’t know he had a wife until I told him I was pregnant. That was when he finally showed me pictures of his family — his wife and two children — to “prove” he was married and didn’t want another child yet. He asked me to terminate the pregnancy. We had dated for nine months before he confessed. I was hurt, but he said he lied because he loved me and didn’t want to lose me. He said he was scared. I was in love, so I forgave him and chose to stay.
After that incident, we dated for another year. I even went on family planning so I wouldn’t get pregnant again. He told me he wanted to build a family with me, but asked me to give him about a year so he could settle and save.
That year passed last month (October). I didn’t pressure him; I only asked about his plans for us. That was when he told me his wife was pregnant again and that he needed “peace.”
I am 32, turning 33 soon. I’m not a child. I’ve spent almost two years with this man, and now he wants more time because his wife — who is younger than me — is expecting their third child. Meanwhile, I’m here cooking for him, being intimate with him, massaging him, and even using my money to buy prepaid so he can relax and sleep because he claims he barely sleeps at home.
Ever since he told me to wait again because his wife is pregnant, I haven’t felt the same. Deep down, I feel he will never build a family with me. I’m tired. I want my own family. I’ve invested so much into this relationship, and I feel stuck. I don’t know how to move forward or how to let go, because the thought of starting over again scares me.
