I grew up with responsible parents who taught me that marriage is a beautiful thing until I got into it.
I dated my husband for five years, and all through those years of dating I never bothered him with my needs and wants.
I had a business running while I was in the university and I had enough money to take care of myself even without the support of my parents.
I actually supported this, my husband, when he needed help.
Fast forward: We got married and had our first child. I got pregnant again just after three months. Things were not easy at all. We didn’t have any relatives in town to assist me we the babies. Note, I had both babies through caesarian section.
And that was two major operations just in one year. The healing process was long and unbearable. This was the time I discovered who really I got married to.
Dave, this man would leave me with two little babies even in my condition and refuse to pick my calls when I need help. Sometimes the kids would be crying of hunger and I won’t even be able to get up from bed to breastfeed or to feed the other one.
I eventually had a little support from an old woman. She spent a few days with us and left. I gathered the strength and started doing things on my own.
I could not carry a bucket of water to the bathroom, so I would tie my tummy with a big bedsheet, use a small cup to fetch it, walk slowly to pour it into the bucket in the bathroom until it’s full – just to bath myself and the kids… And this takes me like 45 minutes.
Sometimes we go days without bathing. This man never cared about how we survived each day. He comes back late after midnight, sleeps, gets up and goes out and sometimes, doesn’t even sleep at home.
Later, I found a way to report him to my family. He said he didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing and that his duty was to buy diapers and not to help in chores. I endured it all. I sent the kids to school even before they turned two years, just so I could get a job to take care of myself and the kids.
He has never bought a dress or a shoe for the kids, not to talk of me. The only thing he buys is diapers and nothing more. But because I am used to taking care of myself even before I married him, I kept doing everything for the kids even without his support.
And it’s not like he doesn’t earn oooh; he has a good job which pays him well and he spends well on the women he is dating (when I found out he was cheating with three different women)
So I got a job (the salary was not really good) but I had no choice. And since I moved to a different town after marriage, it affected me as I had to start everything all over again, get to know new people, etc.
The worst happened as our salaries were no longer being paid at work due to huge financial crises which the company was going through. We had not been paid for eight months and I had already exhausted every saving I had.
I resigned and as I didn’t have any money to fend for myself and the kids, I had to rely on my husband.
Hmmm! Now I have to pause and wipe my tears before I continue.
So he starts giving me 40gh a week. This is the same money I have to buy prepaid from, buy diapers, buy snacks for the kids, cook, and take a taxi to send them to school and back. He was virtually staying with his girlfriend and didn’t even eat at home.
He said since he is no longer eating at home, the 40gh should be enough for us. This is the same 40gh that I have to buy laundry soap, gas for cooking, and other needs from. I am not even mentioning hospital bills because he will tell you ‘that is why they have a health insurance card’.
It was difficult for me to even complain to my parents because they warned me about this same guy and I still insisted on marrying him.
So one afternoon, the thought of suicide dawned on me. I bought rat poison and decided to poison myself and the kids. Prior to that decision, my mom had a dream about me.
She said she dreamt I died in an accident with the kids, and my sisters also had the same dream in just one night. They pleaded with me to go to church, and also, pray about it
In my head, I said ‘even the Sunday will not come to meet us’. I cooked indomie and mixed it with the poison. I switched off my phone, wrote a short note on a piece of paper, and was about to feed the kids and behold, there was a knock on the door.
It was some two guys who were selling Longrich products. I told them I was not interested and asked them to leave, but one of them insisted and even asked for a seat and a cup of water. So I went in, hid the food, and brought them the water.
They started playing with the kids and praised how pretty my children are, and that, I should be thankful to God for them. They turned the conversation into preaching and before they left, I had a total change of mind and an attitude of gratitude to God.
These two longrich guys saved three lives on the 13th of March, 2019.
Now, all I want to do is to get a job and leave this hell of a town I came to because of marriage. I am Annita, and I have a Degree in Business Administration. (Marketing).
