Men the world over have been taught to be strong, display no emotion and show no one hurt. But half the time, men have been shown to suffer more emotional pain than they are given any credit for.
As per the norm, women hardly take the initiative to propose to men, however, most men more often than not, are rejected on their first try at proposing to date a woman.
Now, how do men really feel when a woman says no to them? We don’t mean the accepted norm in society, but what truly runs through their minds.
Speaking to a focus group of ten men, these opinions cropped up.
Most men confirmed they were downhearted and extremely hurt the first time a lady said no to him. One confirmed, saying; “I was very hurt. I thought I had done everything right. We had been on five dates and she seemed genuinely into me too. But she said no. I just don’t know what went wrong. I did not ask anyone else out for over a year. Took a lot to master the courage again.”
Then, the second group of men who got mad and just couldn’t take it. “I was angry. Very mad. I insulted her to all my friends and described how annoying she was. I felt my time had been wasted, time I could have spent doing other things or chasing other girls. But, that was the first time. After that incident, I always proposed with a possibility of hearing a ”no” in mind, so I really didn’t care anymore,” another said
The third group of boys, the playboys, had the best experiences to share. Playboy 1 had this to say; “The first time, I had three girls lined up. Took a lot of courage to actually ask any of them out the first time. I’m a fine boy so I had many girls around me. When I finally asked one out, she said no. I just brushed her off and asked two more out in her place. Jackpot. I played them for a whole year or so.”
The second playboy was also unfortunate in the beginning and that is how he turned a playboy. Speaking, he said; “They made me like this. I asked to date one, she said a straight no, with no reasons. I waited a few months, asked another and she also said no. Then I decided I wouldn’t forgive ladies anymore. Because, they make me work so hard and still say no. Since then, I have had more ladies on hand than I want.”
Lastly, the lucky group who kept pursuing. One who is fortunate enough to be married to the only woman he has ever asked out said; “I asked her to date me the first time, she said no. I waited a few more months, still said no. But, I am super persistent and ‘no’ never fazes me. After the third ask, she said yes and today, we are married. That first ‘no’ just gave me a reason to keep working on myself and keep being a better person for her. Best decision I have ever made.”
Men may seem like they do not care and do not hurt, but they carry a lot of pain, to the extent of modifying their behaviour. The expression of this pain is, however, different in every man.
Women simply need to be more upfront and frank with men when they realise a man is into them. Do not waste his time, don’t go on five dates with him, don’t encourage his advances and still say no.
Men hurt too…. Respect their feelings.
