It’s the New Year, a time when we reflect on the last year, often judge ourselves, and then make a resolution to change. The word “resolution” itself suggests we need a new approach.
The old solution didn’t work so we redo it, we make a re-solution and re-solve the problem. Ultimately a resolution is a choice to do something that ultimately increases your value in any of the four Domains.
Any of these apply to you? I resolve to lose weight. I resolve to get a better job. I resolve to be a better person. I resolve to save more money and not spend so frivolously. I resolve to not drink. I resolve to stop buying lottery tickets.
A re-solution is a promise to our self now about something you plan to achieve in the future. The promise may be based on an emotional limbic need, often based in an Ic of being less-than and wanting to be better, like to lose weight.
But the execution of that promise takes planning, based on a different part of your brain right behind your forehead called the pre-frontal cortex. As the outcome may not be immediate, planning often takes an ability to delay gratification.
In some ways making a resolution is the marshmallow test all over again. Children were shown a marshmallow. They could eat it now, or wait five minutes and then be given another marshmallow, and then eat both of them. Which person are you?
I had forgotten to follow my own advice in the blog, A Simple Technique to Manage Anxiety.
So that is why we make resolutions. Because on a deep and profound level we see ourselves as not doing as well as we could, and should be doing better. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change your I-M if you don’t like it. But the risk we have is unwittingly, limbically creating stress just because we think we should change, as if we were not doing well enough, to begin with.
But when we see this as an I-M, we can step back and re-spect, again look, at why we made the resolution in the first place. Because we want something to change. This year when I make my resolutions I am using the I-M Approach as a Road Map.
What small change do I want to make in any of the Domains to reach my goal? One of them is to lose that weight again. So I am going to re-read and implement The i-Diet, by Susan Roberts.
I am starting a new job so another small change will be to walk our new dog every morning and think about the things I want to achieve.
And my last resolution is to wait at least five minutes every time I am faced with a marshmallow test in disguise.
But here is one re-solution you can make which will have an immediate effect. Every day say something nice to someone and remind them of their value. If you buy something from someone say Thank You and observe what happens next. I will start: Thank you for reading this blog. You have made me feel valued, and influenced my I-M.
